No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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