wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
