dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
