Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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