Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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