he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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