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• (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

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• (943): View more from

  You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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• (818): View more from California

  I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.

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• (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.

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