Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
