He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
