i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize