Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
