I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My dick has a subreddit
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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