They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
