Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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