apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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