i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
