why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
