That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
