Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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