This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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