I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
