i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
