mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
