I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize