I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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