Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
