can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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