what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You dont lie about slip and slides
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
