Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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