I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
