there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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