I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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