so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
