i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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