Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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