Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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