the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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