Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
