We're facebook friends in real life
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
