i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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