hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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