The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
