I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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