Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
