you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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