Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Someone came in the potted fern
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
