Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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