there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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