I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
