I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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