You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize