Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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