she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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