And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
