How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
