the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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