Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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