I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
